The Love/Hate Relationship with Body Image
What is the relationship that you have with the person looking back at you in the mirror? Would you consider it a healthy relationship where there is love and compassion, or would you deem it toxic and detrimental to your mental and physical well-being?
Body image issues are something that many bariatric patients deal with before and after surgery. According to the journal, Obesity Reviews (2018), a person’s appearance is the main motivator for approximately 1 in 5 patients to get the procedure to start with. After the surgery, many struggles with the effects of sudden weight loss that can lead to looser skin. This can also affect a person’s body image.
On the positive side, studies show that those who get the surgery show an increase in improved body image within the first year and are 5 times more likely to have a positive body image than prior to surgery (Alblaihi et al., 2020). As patients lose weight, they feel healthier, go down in clothing sizes, and noticeably change in appearance, so it’s easy to see why that could lead to feeling better about oneself. The problem in this, however, is that if a person doesn’t start to see their self-worth from the beginning, body image issues can creep back later.
Many people believe that once they get to that size or number on the scale then something will magically click, and they will suddenly have a positive body image. Unfortunately, many of those same people are met with something else that they disapprove of. There must be a change in the way that a person views body image and weight loss. It can’t be looked at as the cure to negative body image because post-surgery and weight loss journeys will have their own set of obstacles.
So, how do we begin to love ourselves and improve body image issues that have plagued us for so long? It begins with the mind and the mouth. We think something, and then, we speak it out loud. We often do this with negative comments about our bodies. We think, “I will love myself when I’m size ___,” and we speak words that agree with low self-esteem. Instead, we should think, “I love myself so much that I deserve a healthy lifestyle,” and then, our words reflect a more positive outlook on our body image! When you begin to change mindsets, your words will follow, and it will help to keep negativity away.
Second, there is strength in accountability! It’s normal to have good and bad days in your journey, and it helps tremendously to be able to talk to someone about it. Find a support group either online or in-person with other bariatric patients or people on weight-loss journeys that can understand what you are going through, can provide tips and advice, and can be a source of comfort for you. Some in the group may be pre-op, newly post-op, or years down the line after surgery, so each will provide vital information and different perspectives. If you can’t find a support group, try finding a friend or family member who can be an accountability partner to you. There is no shame in talking to someone when you need a boost of confidence.
Also, stop comparing yourself to others! It’s so easy to look on social media or at advertisements where people are Photoshopped and angled just right to where they don’t even look like themselves! Comparison is an enemy of any person because it typically pits the best version that you perceive of a person versus the worst moments that you are dealing with. People typically don’t post their hardest times, and you really have no idea what others walk through. That person with what you think is the “perfect body” may suffer from worse self-esteem issues than most do. Our body image can’t come from what we observe of others.
Lastly, give yourself grace. It’s so easy to be our own worst enemy. We are the first to show compassion to others, yet we beat ourselves up when we blow our diet, gain a few pounds, or miss a workout. Grace allows for room to improve with boundaries that keep us going for the long haul. As you have heard repeatedly, this is about a lifestyle change, not a fad diet, so you must find a balance to endure the test of time. Nobody is perfect, and grace is necessary to keep positive self-esteem.
At the end of the day, our health is vitally important! We have one body, and we should treat it with respect. We should strive to live a lifestyle that compliments that view, but many of us struggle with a toxic relationship with our body image. It’s not easy but changing the way that we view our body is crucial to see true success in our health journey. You deserve to live a life of peace when it comes to how you see yourself in the mirror, even if you are a work in progress.
References:
Alblaihi DK, Bin Jumaiah NB, Aljameel MS, Alaqeel MA, Abusalih HH. (2020) Impact of bariatric surgery on body image satisfaction among patients attending King Saud medical city. Indian Journal of Science and Technology 13(17): 1714-1719. https://doi.org/ 10.17485/IJST/v13i17.98
Ivezaj, V., & Grilo, C. M. (2018). The complexity of body image following bariatric surgery: a systematic review of the literature. Obesity reviews: an official journal of the International Association for the Study of Obesity, 19(8), 1116–1140. https://doi.org/10.1111/obr.12685
