Social Life After Surgery
You made the life-changing decision to have bariatric surgery. You are losing weight and feeling good. You can control portions at home, and you have created an environment where you can succeed.
But then, your best friend gets that promotion at work. She calls you to come and celebrate at what was your favorite restaurant prior to surgery. They have the tastiest fried foods and cocktails. You are so happy for your friend, and you want nothing more than to celebrate her success, but you start to fear that self-control could be an issue. Do you skip the party because of the food that will be present, or do you try your hardest to push through?
Have you been there? Maybe it’s not this exact situation but having a social life after bariatric surgery can be tricky. Many of life’s celebrations are centered around food, and there can be a struggle post-op when new mindsets are met with old habits.
For one, you may fear losing yourself. Maybe you were the person who was “the life of the party” when you had a little to drink, but now, your diet excludes alcohol, so you may not be as lively. Maybe baking was your therapy, and now, you must cut back on sugar and calories. Food can almost become a hobby itself, especially if you like to cook or bake. Having to restrict certain foods can feel like you are losing an old friend as well. To combat this, you must start looking at it as though you aren’t losing yourself but instead are gaining years in your life with a fresh perspective! Food can still be a hobby but with healthier alternatives. You can still be creative!
Another struggle that you may face with your social life after surgery is your loved ones not fully understanding the bariatric surgery process and even interfering with it. They may say things like, “one cookie isn’t going to hurt you,” or “you have worked so hard and deserve this!” If they have never experienced this procedure, they may not understand that your stomach isn’t what it used to be or that alcoholic drinks can feel much stronger than they did in the past. The hardest part can come when certain loved ones may feel jealous of your weight loss due to insecurity of their own and try to sabotage or put you down. It’s a very sad truth that not everyone in our lives will be supportive, but you can learn how to create a circle of people around you that are. It doesn’t mean that you necessarily must stop being friends with those who may not understand, but you learn who you can confide in about your health and which friends are best for specific situations. Communication is key in any relationship, so let your friends know your limitations, fears, and goals. If a person is actively sabotaging your health, however, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship.
So, how can you have an active social life after surgery? It starts with self-care. What you can do 2 years post-op and 2 weeks post-op will be vastly different, so if you are still healing, you may need to take things slow. Focus on activities that keep you moving while having fun. If you are going out at night, maybe find a place with live music so that you can dance off some calories! Try new things that don’t always revolve around food or have healthier options. If you know that you are going to a restaurant, look up the menu before arrival and plan so that you are going into the situation prepared. It’s these little, intentional things that can lead to success while living a fulfilled life!
Know that there may be times that you have that cookie or cocktail, and it doesn’t mean that you have blown your whole journey. Healthy living will always include moderation and being obsessively restrictive can backfire. Therefore, mental health is a huge part of this journey because it’s easy to become engulfed in the scale, weight loss, and eating, resulting in an unhealthy mindset. Having realistic boundaries for yourself and your social life will allow for grace and self-love.
Having a social life after surgery can have its ups and downs, but it is doable! It’s important to have relationships and a sense of normalcy. The more you shift your perspective, communicate with loved ones, are intentional with your journey, and give yourself grace, the more confident you will feel in social settings. True friends will be your biggest fans, even if they don’t always understand the journey.
