How to Take Back Control of Our Triggers
The word “triggered” is tossed around nowadays quite frequently. The image may come to mind of an angry person in traffic screaming at the car in front of them or a disgruntled shopper in a long line on Black Friday. Unfortunately, this can overshadow what those overcoming traumas go through on a common basis. It cheapens what a person experiencing a trigger actually feels, and it’s much deeper than a moment of rage or anxiety.
A trigger is something that reminds not just your mind but your entire body of a traumatic event in your life. Your central nervous system expresses the same emotional state it felt in the impactful moment that left an imprint on it. In other words, we may know that we are no longer in the physical state of trauma, but our body and its systems never forget what it experienced emotionally and psychologically. So, when anything pushes that button in our minds, whether a song, a smell, a person, a place, etc., we can experience traumatization over and over again.
The holidays seem to be a universal trigger for numerous people. Many memories are made through the season, and we are quickly reminded of who is or isn’t present at the dining table. Family and loved ones can also hurt us worse than anyone else because we have a deeper connection with them, so any uncomfortable interaction can send us reeling.
Triggers can often lead to self-medicating or poor coping behaviors. For someone who has learned to run to food for comfort and support, overeating and/or unhealthy nutritional choices can quickly follow. Many individuals with binge-eating disorder have used food since childhood to cope with traumatic experiences because food stimulates the reward receptors in our brains. When a person feels a negative emotional reaction to something (the trigger), they want to avoid what the brain senses is a punishment and quickly experience a reward (the food). This can be a dangerous cycle often leading to obesity and other health-related issues.
The good news is that there are ways to not allow our triggers to overcome us. We can and must learn how to be in control. The first step is identifying what your traumatic events and triggers are. You can’t heal if you don’t know why you are “sick” to begin with. Taking the time to examine your past experiences and how they affected you is crucial. Revisit those childhood moments that may have shaped negative patterns and thinking in your life. This may not feel so good in the moment, but it is the first step to freedom. When you can identify what caused the trauma, it’s much easier to see why certain things trigger you more than others.
For example, if your alcoholic father listened to a certain song while getting drunk in front of you many nights as a child, your brain may associate that song with feelings of fear, anxiety, and a lack of safety. The trauma would be the behavior of an alcoholic father, and the trigger would be the song. Hearing that song as an adult may cause the central nervous system to immediately emote those old sensations of fear, anxiety, and a lack of safety even if the father is nowhere to be found. This is the cycle of posttraumatic stress and learning how to cope with those triggers is the key to living in peace.
One great way to retrain our mind and body is to change the behaviors we exhibit when these moments occur. For instance, we can change our thinking as to what a true reward is. Binge-eating is a momentary release, just as alcohol or drugs are, but the long-term results are far from rewarding. They actually harm us more than anything, so we must rewrite that narrative in our minds. We can then replace those harmful behaviors with positive ones. Exercise, a fun hobby, and spending time with loving people who understand our situations are just a few examples of healthier rewards that can help our brains when we sense a trigger happening.
Another helpful tactic is to talk to yourself with positivity when experiencing a trigger. As a domestic violence survivor, when I feel this way, the code phrase that brings me back to reality is “I am safe.” I say it over and over until it sticks. I also consider my five senses. What am I currently seeing, touching, tasting, hearing, or smell? It sounds funny, but it brings a sense of reality as well instead of what my body may be perceiving as such.
This isn’t something that typically happens overnight. Give yourself grace through the process. Feel the emotion, process it, and heal. That’s the true path to moving on with respect to what you’ve been through. You deserve a life of freedom. You do not have to be a slave to your triggers.
